Minnie, It can get kinda dark at times. I drank anti-freeze 4 years ago and died. They brought me back. This can be a crazy ride. Sorry to hear of so much pain. My heart breaks too. As for me, I am so glad to be alive. Thank you for sharing Minnie. When I share on Medium, it does somehow help me feel stronger It's the support that I get, LVYA, Minnie!💝