“I guess you thought very little of both of your grandmothers since you didn’t have enough respect to show up for either one’s funeral. Grandma Helen told me that you’d come around once she was dead, and if you didn’t she would haunt you, constantly. I bet she’s probably creeping in your dreams every night and giving you nightmares. They both know you didn’t care enough to show up for the final time. That was a huge embarrassment at the wake when people asked where you were.”